Just---fun? a New Years Tale

[JewelryQueen]

As I sit here in my new chrome diopside colored Christmas sweater I have time to ponder on the upcoming New Year's Celebration since Santa is no longer breathing down my neck.
My mind cannot but return to New Years Eve 45 years ago. I lived out in the country so I decided to visit sissy in the city as her birthday is Jan 1. I was about 8 1/2 months pregnant so I told hubby than since he had been stuck home with a cranky pregnant wife he should go out and party with his buddies. Midnight comes and I am waddling around after sis to give her her birthday spanking. I suddenly have to rush to the bathroom and lo and behold my water breaks. All heck breaks loose! Both sis who was never married, and never pregnant for sure and my 80 something Grandma are running around like their hair is on fire.
I am driving the three of us to the hospital which-Glory be to God in the Highest-is not far away. Driving heckl bent for leather contractions begin. Every two blocks I am involuntarily jerking the steering wheel severely to the left. Speeding, driving erratically, just after midnight on New Years and do you think a cop was anywhere to be seen? No mam!
We make it to the hospital I tell the nurse I am about to give birth so she calls my obstetrician who says '"No way she is not due for a month and besides I am at a party." He never makes it The anestiologist (drug guy) makes it in time to wave at me and my newborn through the window of the delivery room. They both still charged me full fee and I didn't even have Danielle to straighten out my customer service issues. Beat that for an interesting New Years Tale.
But no friends! The tale does not end there After a year of budget pays I have paid down to the last $5 I owe the hospital The bookkeeping dept loses my check. They send a bill for $10- $5 + $5 late fee. I send a check for $10. They lose it again! I see where this game is going. What to do? I'll tell you what to do 1) You get a big flat board 2) you put two buckets of cement on either end of the board 3) you glue your check to the board 4) you have your burly hubby throw it in the pickup and deliver it with a note "loose that you bums!" Tim-gems, cust service, budget pay OK?

[Gem Lover]

Wow, what a story and amusing too, the last part is hilarious!

[Blossom]

As I sit here in my new chrome diopside colored Christmas sweater I have time to ponder on the upcoming New Year's Celebration since Santa is no longer breathing down my neck.
My mind cannot but return to New Years Eve 45 years ago. I lived out in the country so I decided to visit sissy in the city as her birthday is Jan 1. I was about 8 1/2 months pregnant so I told hubby than since he had been stuck home with a cranky pregnant wife he should go out and party with his buddies. Midnight comes and I am waddling around after sis to give her her birthday spanking. I suddenly have to rush to the bathroom and lo and behold my water breaks. All heck breaks loose! Both sis who was never married, and never pregnant for sure and my 80 something Grandma are running around like their hair is on fire.
I am driving the three of us to the hospital which-Glory be to God in the Highest-is not far away. Driving heckl bent for leather contractions begin. Every two blocks I am involuntarily jerking the steering wheel severely to the left. Speeding, driving erratically, just after midnight on New Years and do you think a cop was anywhere to be seen? No mam!
We make it to the hospital I tell the nurse I am about to give birth so she calls my obstetrician who says '"No way she is not due for a month and besides I am at a party." He never makes it The anestiologist (drug guy) makes it in time to wave at me and my newborn through the window of the delivery room. They both still charged me full fee and I didn't even have Danielle to straighten out my customer service issues. Beat that for an interesting New Years Tale.
But no friends! The tale does not end there After a year of budget pays I have paid down to the last $5 I owe the hospital The bookkeeping dept loses my check. They send a bill for $10- $5 + $5 late fee. I send a check for $10. They lose it again! I see where this game is going. What to do? I'll tell you what to do 1) You get a big flat board 2) you put two buckets of cement on either end of the board 3) you glue your check to the board 4) you have your burly hubby throw it in the pickup and deliver it with a note "loose that you bums!" Tim-gems, cust service, budget pay OK?

Jewelry Queen you had me sitting on the edge of my seat! Glad everything turned out well. Ever thought of becoming an author!

[Lulu]

Please tell me you didn't pay that party hardy doctor nor the do nothing anesthesiologist. How can they be paid for services NOT rendered?

[JewelryQueen]

Yep everything turned out OK. In fact I am home and expecting to host my 6' 4" bouncing baby boy and sissy for a pre birthday get together today.
I DID have to pay both the slackers as I had a "package" deal for pre natal/delivery.
I actually have written two rough drafts of novels both based on my life, both true and both written in my irreverent style. The publisher and I got into a tiff as I said they should be autobiographical/non-fiction and he said EVEN AS FICTION no one would believe such outlandish events.
I'll give you gals a break but you can look forward to tales of The Great Flood/Where is Noah When You Need Him, Rats and Rent Pro-rations, The Thanksgiving Hostage Situation, Horse or Dog? and other true stories ad nauseum. Let me know when , or if, ya want another one

[Blossom]

Yep everything turned out OK. In fact I am home and expecting to host my 6' 4" bouncing baby boy and sissy for a pre birthday get together today.
I DID have to pay both the slackers as I had a "package" deal for pre natal/delivery.
I actually have written two rough drafts of novels both based on my life, both true and both written in my irreverent style. The publisher and I got into a tiff as I said they should be autobiographical/non-fiction and he said EVEN AS FICTION no one would believe such outlandish events.
I'll give you gals a break but you can look forward to tales of The Great Flood/Where is Noah When You Need Him, Rats and Rent Pro-rations, The Thanksgiving Hostage Situation, Horse or Dog? and other true stories ad nauseum. Let me know when , or if, ya want another one

More please!

[JewelryQueen]

OK-- heading towards the bomb shelter now Darn! We don't have one,

[Gypsy]

I wonder if you could 'bookmark' the.post.and if that would save it ?? Admittedly I dont know much about it but I'm sure someone on the forum does
It might be worth a try

[JewelryQueen]

Truly I am trying. I know how annoying re-runs can be