Danielle /continued

[Dragonfly]

Danielle, I have worked successfully in a very competitive industry for 30 years. When I first began, I told clients what they should feel or do when the market goes down. I thought I was doing the right thing by talking at them in attempt to calm therm or teach them. Finally, after 2008, I figured out that clients had a need to vent and to get their anger and fears out in the open. I listened and then after they were done they were ready to listen and to learn. I have clients that have been with me, loyally, for thirty years. They may not always like the message I deliver but they know I am a straight shooter and will tell them what I really feel. I have a strong practice because I let my clients tell me what their beef is and then I go about solving what I can. When you dummy up people and tell them how to communicate you take away their power. Let people vent. It is their truth. It is their experience. By deleting and controlling the commentary, you do not accomplish what you think you are trying to do--you want everyone to play nice and I guess that is a good goal, but we have had some real complaints that we have voiced. I have always tried to be controlled and some people have still found basic comments too much. We live in a ridiculous time of hyper-sensitivity. Nothing can be said that doesn't upset someone. People get "triggered" over anything that they don't want to hear. We need to toughen up a little so we don't make so many neurotics. You know there is an old saying in business: It is easier to retain a client than to get a new one. If you drive people away or tell them " sorry to see you go" you may lose more than that customer. Getting referrals is a powerful business growth engine. And word of mouth complaints is doubly so. Most of us were giving valuable feedback about annoying behavior and those sales people need to respect and listen to their customers. If you have a brain, you can and must alter your behavior, if you want to be successful.

[Gemsnob]

Danielle, I have worked successfully in a very competitive industry for 30 years. When I first began, I told clients what they should feel or do when the market goes down. I thought I was doing the right thing by talking at them in attempt to calm therm or teach them. Finally, after 2008, I figured out that clients had a need to vent and to get their anger and fears out in the open. I listened and then after they were done they were ready to listen and to learn. I have clients that have been with me, loyally, for thirty years. They may not always like the message I deliver but they know I am a straight shooter and will tell them what I really feel. I have a strong practice because because I let my clients tell me what their beef is and then I go about solving what I can. When you dummy up people and tell them how to communicate you take away their power. Let people vent. It is their truth. It is their experience. By deleting and controlling the commentary, you do not accomplish what you think you are trying to do--you want everyone to play nice and I guess that is a good goal, but we have had some real complaints that we have voiced. I have always tried to be controlled and some people have still found basic comments too much. We live in a ridiculous time of hyper sensitivity. Nothing can be said that doesn't upset someone. People get "triggered" over anything that they don't want to hear. We need to toughen up a little so we don't make so many neurotics. You know there is an old saying in business: It is easier to retain a client than to get a new one. If you drive people away or tell them " sorry to see you go" you may lose more than that customer. Getting referrals is a powerful business growth engine. And word of mouth complaints is doubly so. Most of us were giving valuable feedback about annoying behavior and those sales people need to respect and listen to their customers. If you have a brain, you can and must alter your behavior if you want to be successful.

A thousand likes.

[Moderator_Danielle]

Danielle, I have worked successfully in a very competitive industry for 30 years. When I first began, I told clients what they should feel or do when the market goes down. I thought I was doing the right thing by talking at them in attempt to calm therm or teach them. Finally, after 2008, I figured out that clients had a need to vent and to get their anger and fears out in the open. I listened and then after they were done they were ready to listen and to learn. I have clients that have been with me, loyally, for thirty years. They may not always like the message I deliver but they know I am a straight shooter and will tell them what I really feel. I have a strong practice because I let my clients tell me what their beef is and then I go about solving what I can. When you dummy up people and tell them how to communicate you take away their power. Let people vent. It is their truth. It is their experience. By deleting and controlling the commentary, you do not accomplish what you think you are trying to do--you want everyone to play nice and I guess that is a good goal, but we have had some real complaints that we have voiced. I have always tried to be controlled and some people have still found basic comments too much. We live in a ridiculous time of hyper-sensitivity. Nothing can be said that doesn't upset someone. People get "triggered" over anything that they don't want to hear. We need to toughen up a little so we don't make so many neurotics. You know there is an old saying in business: It is easier to retain a client than to get a new one. If you drive people away or tell them " sorry to see you go" you may lose more than that customer. Getting referrals is a powerful business growth engine. And word of mouth complaints is doubly so. Most of us were giving valuable feedback about annoying behavior and those sales people need to respect and listen to their customers. If you have a brain, you can and must alter your behavior, if you want to be successful.

Hello,

Thanks very much for taking the time to share your feedback. I will be sure to include this with the feedback I have collected thus far. We have no problems with people sharing concerns. Because you are right a lot of the feedback has been very valuable. I am sorry if people feel like they are being silenced or censored as that is not what we are aiming to do. As we have a talented group of people here I am confident we can have a dialogue (good or bad) that isn't accusatory or contains personal attacks.

[Dragonfly]

The fly in the ointment is that someone who hears something they don't want to hear can claim it was a personal attack. For example, I have tried to be very measured about Cheryl's presentations. I have approached her presentation as I would one of my staff. I have pointed out her behavior with Craig as I would have with as if our compliance manager was whispering in my ear. I have critiqued her as i would one of our younger sales people and with the knowledge and experience of being one of the top producers in a branch of one of the premier global financial firms. My comments came from a generous spirit of wanting to help. She has heard our requests and views and has made it clear she is going to do what she is going to do and the heck with the rest of us. She is an HR nightmare and the night with Craig would have been her last one at my firm. Instead of using the advice wisely she chose to flip us off. In my business, we call that exhibiting the characteristics of a loser. I don't have to share high standards of sales presentations--I chose to because I think she has some potential. When she sticks to presenting with knowledge--which I believe she does have--I can see her potential. Then she goes off and hee- haws like the animal she is imitating or she makes someone like Craig so uncomfortable or hijacks the whole conversation rendering him to a silent statue. I have to wonder if it wasn't on purpose. I have seen two people making presentations when one stops at nothing to be the center of the attention and sacrifices the other one's dignity. It is ugly and it doesn't bring joy and it shouldn't be tolerated by your company if you claim a higher standard of social consciousness.

[Gemsnob]

The fly in the ointment is that someone who hears something they don't want to hear can claim it was a personal attack. For example, I have tried to be very measured about Cheryl's presentations. I have approached her presentation as I would one of my staff. I have pointed out her behavior with Craig as I would have with as if our compliance manager was whispering in my ear. I have critiqued her as i would one of our younger sales people and with the knowledge and experience of being one of the top producers in a branch of one of the premier global financial firms. My comments came from a generous spirit of wanting to help. She has heard our requests and views and has made it clear she is going to do what she is going to do and the heck with the rest of us. She is an HR nightmare and the night with Craig would have been her last one at my firm. Instead of using the advice wisely she chose to flip us off. In my business, we call that exhibiting the characteristics of a loser. I don't have to share high standards of sales presentations--I chose to because I think she has some potential. When she sticks to presenting with knowledge--which I believe she does have--I can see her potential. Then she goes off and hee- haws like the animal she is imitating or she makes someone like Craig so uncomfortable or hijacks the whole conversation rendering him to a silent statue. I have to wonder if it wasn't on purpose. I have seen two people making presentations when one stops at nothing to be the center of the attention and sacrifices the other one's dignity. It is ugly and it doesn't bring joy and it shouldn't be tolerated by your company if you claim a higher standard of social consciousness.

You explain things very well. I believe people here started out trying to get their points and concerns across nicely but theyve been ignored completely to the point hosts mocked them on live tv and said if you dont like it, change the channel. At that point , viewers did get rude and so be it. How can you as a company accept so much unprofessional, immature and rude behavior from your hosts and turn around and have those same people talk about One for One auctions where we need to buy buy buy and another auction where we need to save the environment. Please. They are telling us what our values need to be. Just dont do it.

[Dragonfly]

The fly in the ointment is that someone who hears something they don't want to hear can claim it was a personal attack. For example, I have tried to be very measured about Cheryl's presentations. I have approached her presentation as I would one of my staff. I have pointed out her behavior with Craig as I would have with as if our compliance manager was whispering in my ear. I have critiqued her as i would one of our younger sales people and with the knowledge and experience of being one of the top producers in a branch of one of the premier global financial firms. My comments came from a generous spirit of wanting to help. She has heard our requests and views and has made it clear she is going to do what she is going to do and the heck with the rest of us. She is an HR nightmare and the night with Craig would have been her last one at my firm. Instead of using the advice wisely she chose to flip us off. In my business, we call that exhibiting the characteristics of a loser. I don't have to share high standards of sales presentations--I chose to because I think she has some potential. When she sticks to presenting with knowledge--which I believe she does have--I can see her potential. Then she goes off and hee- haws like the animal she is imitating or she makes someone like Craig so uncomfortable or hijacks the whole conversation rendering him to a silent statue. I have to wonder if it wasn't on purpose. I have seen two people making presentations when one stops at nothing to be the center of the attention and sacrifices the other one's dignity. It is ugly and it doesn't bring joy and it shouldn't be tolerated by your company if you claim a higher standard of social consciousness.

You explain things very well. I believe people here started out trying to get their points and concerns across nicely but theyve been ignored completely to the point hosts mocked them on live tv and said if you dont like it, change the channel. At that point , viewers did get rude and so be it. How can you as a company accept so much unprofessional, immature and rude behavior from your hosts and turn around and have those same people talk about One for One auctions where we need to buy buy buy and another auction where we need to save the environment. Please. They are telling us what our values need to be. Just dont do it.

Thank you Gemsnob. I agree. I don't need another hall guard in my life. Whatever happened to live and let live?

[CC]

Again a statement has been made that Cheryl " chose to flip us off" . Did this just happen or is it the prior instance which has been discussed thoroughly on this forum. If it is the prior instance , the poster of that information apologized to Cheryl, via this forum , for the information contained in that post. I too have been a vocal critic of Chery!s , but I and others have noticed a difference in her behavior on air and have said so via this forum. Did This "Chery! "chose to flip us off" just happen? Just trying to get the facts straight. By the way, when someone is called a HR nightmare and a loser , do we rea!!y need to question why the forum rules are being changed ? Everyone, and I mean everyone ,is a!ways entitled to their opinion. This is my personal opinion only.

[Dragonfly]

CC—my comment in this section was directed to Danielle about past comments made and was discussing the difficulty in figuring out the difference in comments meant to voice justified criticism and just plain meanness. If you are unaware of the incident with Craig, then you might object to my reference to HR nightmare. I assure you what I am talking about is not hyperbole. Men have rights too. Her “jokes” at his expense would have gotten you all upset if it was a woman being used for the sake of off color humor. Most of us also know he is a married man and that was awkward too. If you found what I said an example of why we need censoring then your comments are an example of how our society has become over sensitive about all language. I don’t need a hall guard governing my choice of words and it is increasingly difficult to discuss anything honestly and clearly when someone finds just about anything anyone says “upsetting”. I carefully chose my words and spoke from a managerial perspective. It was a HR nightmare to have one employee make those comments about another employee on the air in front of many witnesses. If you don’t get that then you don’t know the state of HR issues in corporate America today. Perhaps Craig didn’t voice a complaint or file one— that doesn’t make it OK. It just makes Cheryl very, very lucky. Many a man has been fired for less.

[Gemaholic]

Again a statement has been made that Cheryl " chose to flip us off" . Did this just happen or is it the prior instance which has been discussed thoroughly on this forum. If it is the prior instance , the poster of that information apologized to Cheryl, via this forum , for the information contained in that post. I too have been a vocal critic of Chery!s , but I and others have noticed a difference in her behavior on air and have said so via this forum. Did This "Chery! "chose to flip us off" just happen? Just trying to get the facts straight. By the way, when someone is called a HR nightmare and a loser , do we rea!!y need to question why the forum rules are being changed ? Everyone, and I mean everyone ,is a!ways entitled to their opinion. This is my personal opinion only.

CC- The irony in these new guidelines is that it actually aggravated the issue and made it worse. It upset those that were upset even more, and it made everyone not carefully read things with an objective eye. I can say that in your post here, you too are being antagonistic to Dragonfly. This is exactly the problem so many of us have with restricted opinions. It creates this atmosphere where every word could be interpreted as offensive and hateful. People that feel their opinions are being suppressed go on the defense (rightfully so) and come out swinging. Whatever happened to words being just adjectives? We can't use adjectives anymore? I think what Dragonfly was trying to say is that not taking criticism gracefully is a loser mentality. I think we need to get our dictionaries out to remind ourselves what these words mean. If you play a game and one side loses, what are they called? Is that offensive or is it just describing the event? When we get to this point of hypersensitivity, our language starts to not make sense anymore and we forget how to even speak simple words. She was talking about giving advice and changing. I'll take it back to my game analogy. When the team that is not the winner (cannot use the word to describe them since it's apparently a bad a word now) just gives up and is too hurt to listen to what their coach says that could benefit them and help them defeat their next opponent, they will stay that bad word that I cannot say because they are not developing the skills that could make them a winner. This is why it can be very risky and dangerous to over-scrutinize someone's words and pass judgement that none of us have the authority to pass. Now we have everyone attacking each other and judging each other. Thank you SLC. You delivered joy for yourself.

[Hollie]

Again a statement has been made that Cheryl " chose to flip us off" . Did this just happen or is it the prior instance which has been discussed thoroughly on this forum. If it is the prior instance , the poster of that information apologized to Cheryl, via this forum , for the information contained in that post. I too have been a vocal critic of Chery!s , but I and others have noticed a difference in her behavior on air and have said so via this forum. Did This "Chery! "chose to flip us off" just happen? Just trying to get the facts straight. By the way, when someone is called a HR nightmare and a loser , do we rea!!y need to question why the forum rules are being changed ? Everyone, and I mean everyone ,is a!ways entitled to their opinion. This is my personal opinion only.

CC- The irony in these new guidelines is that it actually aggravated the issue and made it worse. It upset those that were upset even more, and it made everyone not carefully read things with an objective eye. I can say that in your post here, you too are being antagonistic to Dragonfly. This is exactly the problem so many of us have with restricted opinions. It creates this atmosphere where every word could be interpreted as offensive and hateful. People that feel their opinions are being suppressed go on the defense (rightfully so) and come out swinging. Whatever happened to words being just adjectives? We can't use adjectives anymore? I think what Dragonfly was trying to say is that not taking criticism gracefully is a loser mentality. I think we need to get our dictionaries out to remind ourselves what these words mean. If you play a game and one side loses, what are they called? Is that offensive or is it just describing the event? When we get to this point of hypersensitivity, our language starts to not make sense anymore and we forget how to even speak simple words. She was talking about giving advice and changing. I'll take it back to my game analogy. When the team that is not the winner (cannot use the word to describe them since it's apparently a bad a word now) just gives up and is too hurt to listen to what their coach says that could benefit them and help them defeat their next opponent, they will stay that bad word that I cannot say because they are not developing the skills that could make them a winner. This is why it can be very risky and dangerous to over-scrutinize someone's words and pass judgement that none of us have the authority to pass. Now we have everyone attacking each other and judging each other. Thank you SLC. You delivered joy for yourself.

Lewzer! The word is lewzer!!
I just can't. Well, I could but then I'd be a meanie. Amirite?