Everything Is Fine

[Dragonfly]

Dragonfly! Some thought you had been blocked from the forum, glad you weren't!

Your post just now is sadly too true. All of us would take away all pain, suffering & aging from our loved ones if possible & too many of us know the loss of parents. I know you gave OSOTT the best advice. Well said.

Blossom--was getting too stressed and gave myself a time out--I have been over at the other site and getting lots of good information. I agree--if we only had a magic wand to make it "all better". I have found that what the elderly and sick treasure is face time. I don't think it has to be very dramatic or exciting--just an engaged presence. I was just thinking the other day about a client I went to see in the rehab--she had quite a bad stroke and she had been such a character--when I walked in to her bedside her eyes just said it all--she couldn't even talk, but her happiness to see me was so obvious it was a great memory for me. So many people don't take time to let the other one know they are appreciated and here was a lady who was very physically compromised and she made ME feel good--the human spirit is remarkable and we just have to take time to enjoy it. I always said that it also helps to have a good sense of humor when you are helping old people--it will absolutely lighten the load! If we can laugh at some of the things that are frightening us or giving us pain, it makes the burden so much easier to handle. At least it does for me. I know it is corny, but I am from Ohio so we are knee deep in corn most of the time!

I definitely know about taking a step back because of stress. Like you said, we must take care of ourselves in order to take care of others. You are the perfect person for your occupation! I'm so glad those people have you & it brightens your day when you brighten theirs. It says alot about you!
BTW...loved the corn joke!

And one thing that is funny to me about my elderly clients--I think their interest and their control of their money is the last thing to go! I have some little ladies that really used their power with their last minute will changes and Trust amendments--power from the grave!!!

[JewelryQueen]

\
How true! When I was a nursing assistant there was one tiny lady who slept with her purse in bed with her. Didn't know her own name but knew where her purse was.

[OtherSideOfTheTracks]

Hello my dear friends,

First, you gals are the best! My heart is full and your posts has given me life - a breath...thank you.

I've not been on only because I've been staying with my mom 24 hours, spending the night with her in the hospital and the rules are no cellphone use in her room. She is in isolation which puts another layer of difficulty to communicate. We are waiting on tests to be cultured to get a more complete idea of the bacteria and treatment needed. She has improved with saline/other fluids as she was not drinking enough water and she didn't have an appetite - even though I tried hard to keep her drinking and eating - it seemed she wouldn't - which lead her to get angry towards me...silly sounding but after reading all the touching posts from you here on this thread, I know you "get it" with elderly patients and their stubborness. She seems to be improving in her personality so far. I pray her infection can be eradicated with the right medicine and an Infectious Disease doctor is in charge of it.

Now first to @RS . Please please know there is nothing but warmth and love toward you in my heart. I really enjoy you and feel you are a very special and caring lady. I also feel this way to each of you here. But RS, please forgive me for giving you any distress. I hope you believe me and I hope very much we can continue enjoy our friendship here. It would mean a lot to me. I was super sensitive and took things wrong. I'm very sorry. xoxox

After reading some of the most touching posts from everyone and hearing your own experiences as a caregiver - I'm blown away at the "spot on" almost EXACT experience I'm going through. It's like you were here with me describing me or mom! lol Yes, sometimes there IS a strong dislike for the patient and the situation - for they take their frustrations out on us. Yes, it's never-ending work with no time for yourself. EVER. I'm embarrassed at my own appearance because I haven't been able to get a haircut/color in forever. I can't leave the house but for quick errands, pharmacy, grocery store, pharmacy, grocery store. lol With this said, I know this is temporary and I do want or NEED to do this for mother. I cannot put her in a nursing home. I would just end up being with her there - and she would hate it there - or the personnel would not like her demands on them...and you know....

I want to thank each of you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and understanding. It lifts me for I feel validated in my own situation with how hard caregiving is - and it's not about me not handling it to perfection or with grace every minute. I do tend to beat myself up. Guilt should be my first name.

So I wanted to come here and give an update and I'm sorry I didn't address everyone personally. I'm only home long enough to wash clothes, take a shower and pack. Oh and another reason I'm staying is to "catch" the doctors as they breeze in at ALL hours of the day. Mom has four doctors. One walked in at 11PM last night and another one at 6AM this morning!

I love you all and am praying for each of you still. Have a wonderful day and I hope to be back on in the near future and look forward to shopping and talking! oooo

P.S. RS, no hard feelings!? xoxox (((RS)))<---hugs

[RS]

Hello my dear friends,

First, you gals are the best! My heart is full and your posts has given me life - a breath...thank you.

I've not been on only because I've been staying with my mom 24 hours, spending the night with her in the hospital and the rules are no cellphone use in her room. She is in isolation which puts another layer of difficulty to communicate. We are waiting on tests to be cultured to get a more complete idea of the bacteria and treatment needed. She has improved with saline/other fluids as she was not drinking enough water and she didn't have an appetite - even though I tried hard to keep her drinking and eating - it seemed she wouldn't - which lead her to get angry towards me...silly sounding but after reading all the touching posts from you here on this thread, I know you "get it" with elderly patients and their stubborness. She seems to be improving in her personality so far. I pray her infection can be eradicated with the right medicine and an Infectious Disease doctor is in charge of it.

Now first to @RS . Please please know there is nothing but warmth and love toward you in my heart. I really enjoy you and feel you are a very special and caring lady. I also feel this way to each of you here. But RS, please forgive me for giving you any distress. I hope you believe me and I hope very much we can continue enjoy our friendship here. It would mean a lot to me. I was super sensitive and took things wrong. I'm very sorry. xoxox

After reading some of the most touching posts from everyone and hearing your own experiences as a caregiver - I'm blown away at the "spot on" almost EXACT experience I'm going through. It's like you were here with me describing me or mom! lol Yes, sometimes there IS a strong dislike for the patient and the situation - for they take their frustrations out on us. Yes, it's never-ending work with no time for yourself. EVER. I'm embarrassed at my own appearance because I haven't been able to get a haircut/color in forever. I can't leave the house but for quick errands, pharmacy, grocery store, pharmacy, grocery store. lol With this said, I know this is temporary and I do want or NEED to do this for mother. I cannot put her in a nursing home. I would just end up being with her there - and she would hate it there - or the personnel would not like her demands on them...and you know....

I want to thank each of you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and understanding. It lifts me for I feel validated in my own situation with how hard caregiving is - and it's not about me not handling it to perfection or with grace every minute. I do tend to beat myself up. Guilt should be my first name.

So I wanted to come here and give an update and I'm sorry I didn't address everyone personally. I'm only home long enough to wash clothes, take a shower and pack. Oh and another reason I'm staying is to "catch" the doctors as they breeze in at ALL hours of the day. Mom has four doctors. One walked in at 11PM last night and another one at 6AM this morning!

I love you all and am praying for each of you still. Have a wonderful day and I hope to be back on in the near future and look forward to shopping and talking! oooo

P.S. RS, no hard feelings!? xoxox (((RS)))<---hugs

None at all my friend I am the one who rightly should have/did felt/feel bad. But I digress...

You and your mom are in my thoughts. I cannot imagine all you are going through and you must be physically and emotionally exhausted.
I am so glad you checked in. We are here when you need us or just want to let us know how you and mom are doing.
Please give her my best and to you as well...

[Gypsy]

@OSOTT

I will continue to send prayers for you and your mother Gypsy

[Blossom]

Hello my dear friends,

First, you gals are the best! My heart is full and your posts has given me life - a breath...thank you.

I've not been on only because I've been staying with my mom 24 hours, spending the night with her in the hospital and the rules are no cellphone use in her room. She is in isolation which puts another layer of difficulty to communicate. We are waiting on tests to be cultured to get a more complete idea of the bacteria and treatment needed. She has improved with saline/other fluids as she was not drinking enough water and she didn't have an appetite - even though I tried hard to keep her drinking and eating - it seemed she wouldn't - which lead her to get angry towards me...silly sounding but after reading all the touching posts from you here on this thread, I know you "get it" with elderly patients and their stubborness. She seems to be improving in her personality so far. I pray her infection can be eradicated with the right medicine and an Infectious Disease doctor is in charge of it.

Now first to @RS . Please please know there is nothing but warmth and love toward you in my heart. I really enjoy you and feel you are a very special and caring lady. I also feel this way to each of you here. But RS, please forgive me for giving you any distress. I hope you believe me and I hope very much we can continue enjoy our friendship here. It would mean a lot to me. I was super sensitive and took things wrong. I'm very sorry. xoxox

After reading some of the most touching posts from everyone and hearing your own experiences as a caregiver - I'm blown away at the "spot on" almost EXACT experience I'm going through. It's like you were here with me describing me or mom! lol Yes, sometimes there IS a strong dislike for the patient and the situation - for they take their frustrations out on us. Yes, it's never-ending work with no time for yourself. EVER. I'm embarrassed at my own appearance because I haven't been able to get a haircut/color in forever. I can't leave the house but for quick errands, pharmacy, grocery store, pharmacy, grocery store. lol With this said, I know this is temporary and I do want or NEED to do this for mother. I cannot put her in a nursing home. I would just end up being with her there - and she would hate it there - or the personnel would not like her demands on them...and you know....

I want to thank each of you from the bottom of my heart for your kindness and understanding. It lifts me for I feel validated in my own situation with how hard caregiving is - and it's not about me not handling it to perfection or with grace every minute. I do tend to beat myself up. Guilt should be my first name.

So I wanted to come here and give an update and I'm sorry I didn't address everyone personally. I'm only home long enough to wash clothes, take a shower and pack. Oh and another reason I'm staying is to "catch" the doctors as they breeze in at ALL hours of the day. Mom has four doctors. One walked in at 11PM last night and another one at 6AM this morning!

I love you all and am praying for each of you still. Have a wonderful day and I hope to be back on in the near future and look forward to shopping and talking! oooo

P.S. RS, no hard feelings!? xoxox (((RS)))<---hugs

OtherSideOfTheTracks! Prayers for you and your mom. Hoping the docs will figure everything out SOON for both your sakes. I know you're exhausted & at your wits end, all for the love you have for your mom, you are a great daughter! I'm sure you know your mom loves you more than anything as you do her. Yes, stop & take a breath when needed. You have to take care of you first.

So glad you have touched base with your friends here & please know we care! Keep us updated when possible.

[JewelryQueen]

SO good to hear from you OSOTT!

I know it sounds all good and well to take care of yourself but you say "With what time am I to do this?" Sometimes a wash of the hair in the sink a wipedown all over with a baby wipe and a touch of lipstick can make all the difference to your sense of well being. Takes less than half an hour. Been there-Done that

[Angelflutter]

OSOTT. I am right there with you. It has been 5 days since my last bath. Been using baby wipes like there is no tomorrow. I have severe hot flashes. With each new hot flash, I feel like a bucket of glue has been poured on me from head to toe. I have a big knot of tangled hair on my neck..... but too exhausted to take time a try to detangle and comb my hair out. I have a load of laundry in the dryer, one in the washer and a couple of loads on the floor in front of the washer waiting to get done. And when I can hopefully get in the tub later today, there will be another load of towels and pajamas and a robe to launder. The grocery store and pharmacy are my new "outings"...... then directly back to the house. I am exhausted every hour of every day..... yet constantly wonder if there is more I can do or need to do. I get very angry at the situation. Not my mother and hubs. I have had my life totally disrupted. I have my mother living with me. I have had to rearrange my home to accommodate her belongings and make things accessible for her. I needed to have clear paths throughout the house so I can try to do physical therapy with her. I have pretty much been forced into retirement. I have to make sure all of her bills are paid as well as paying mine. I have to be sure that I give her her meds on time. I have to make sure I order her meds. God help that I should fall asleep and she were to miss her meds. I have to bathe her. Clean her after bowel or bladder accidents. I have to make sure she is fed. No more just grabbing a bite when I am hungry and going about my business. I do the same for hubs with the exception of the bowel / bladder messes. Everything I do is times 2. I am watching TV shows I normally wouldn't watch so I don't banish mom or hubs to their rooms to watch their TVs. My only relaxation is reading books and visiting my friends in this forum. Someone said to me referring to mom.... "Are you sure you want to take on this burden?" My reply to that person.... was, " It's not a burden, it's a privilege." As far as hubs goes, I took vows which included " in sickness and in health and for better or worse. " I may not have had a perfect day. But, I still have my mother and hubs for now. Yes, for now. I am not guaranteed they will be here tomorrow. When I lay down and rest my head at night, I can go to sleep knowing that I have done what I can do..... Even if it wasn't " perfect." ./color]

[Hot4TENER]

Wow! OSOTT and AngelFlutter, you two are really good people and I will keep you in my prayers. Stay Strong. God will give you strength.

[Blossom]

May God richly bless each of you as you care for your loved ones