Everything Is Fine

[OtherSideOfTheTracks]

My heart breaks for all of the suffering our group is going through. Makes me feel guilty about feeling sorry for myself with my little issues.
May God decide you all have been through enough and give you days filled with happiness ONLY

Thank you, @Vicky ! I'm grateful for all prayers and I give thanks too, to God above.

[OtherSideOfTheTracks]

Dear Everyone! I wanted to start a new thread to address everyone's concerns for me here and over yonder. Thank you for caring about how I'm doing and please know that I truly didn't mean for anyone to feel badly especially RS. Yes, my feelings were hurt as I felt that she was ignoring my posts cumulative over time - and today it just got to me. For this, I feel silly and to RS I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong - it's me feeling sorry for myself I guess. I'm overwhelmed with my mom at the moment as she was admitted to the hospital late this afternoon to get rehydrated and for tests. She's been fighting an antibiotic resistant bacteria in her kidneys for months now of which I give her IV antibiotics every 8 hours. I have to take the antibiotics out of the fridge 1/2 hour before the infusion then the infusion lasts 1 hour....every 8 hours. So I've been losing sleep and it's just me to do this. She has been combative about going to the hospital and it was tough today getting her to understand she needed to go but her home nurse and I finally said enough and called the ambulance. Im relieved but feel so guilty...really bad.

To RS, I'm sorry to cause you distress as I didn't think my post would make any noise - I really didn't think it have any strength as I didn't think it through. Your kindness to me after the post and from everyone has made me cry.. Thank you all for caring about me and I do feel very very fortunate to find such fine people here. I'm really attached to you all.

I'm very drained right now so I need to sign off and go to bed to be up early. I wish I could hug all of you! Please hang in with me! PS. I truly am going to bed and if any comments - I will get to them sometime tomorrow. xoxo

You just take some time and try to rest as best you
can. You are in our thoughts and prayers

@Spooky thank you! I appreciate the thoughts and prayers...

[OtherSideOfTheTracks]

OtherSideOfTheTracks there is no need to feel bad, I am sure most of us have felt overwhelmed at times and when we are feeling that way and tired things tend to effect us even more, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with so much right now. I hope your moms infection clears up soon for her sake and yours. Never feel bad for doing what you have to do and just know we all understand.

@Gem Lover thank you... it is overwhelming at times. Thank goodness for you and everyone here to understand and are truly a fresh breath of air to know I have this outlet. You are so kind.... <3

[Angelflutter]

I'm home for the night! Mom's doctors have come and gone and at the moment we are just waiting for the culture and letting her get better with fluids/antibiotics. This sounds crazy, but being at the hospital is like a mini vacation from being home doing it all. I don't know if I should start the chores or go for a nap. I just gave my cats good love and sweet talk. It's a beautiful day here and I feel free with security that mom is being taken care of.

@Angelflutter everything, and I mean everything you wrote about is me! I almost got chills as I read your post as it is exactly, exactly my life. The endless laundry, the countless spills and "accidents" - constantly trying to plan and cook a healthy meal that is so restrictive that I could probably write a book on meals; the sugar readings, oxygen readings; having to "find" everything that is dropped under the bed,lost in her chair, runaway tv remote that mom is sitting on but mom will insist she is NOT sitting on it - ten minutes later - I finally get her up to stand and there it is....tv remote. The losing her glasses, wiping her mouth, ordering supplies (IV, flushes, heparin, alcohol wipes, gloves, kits), depends, meds, omg, her medicines... Her 20 pills a day medicines. Medicines are my fear too, @Angelflutter . "no more refills" is my worst fear. calling her doctors for refills, missing their calls, returning doctors calls, calling the pharmacy to see if they got the new prescription, ordering them, picking them up or before I finally go to sleep, jump up and order prescriptions via the app. Oh, let's include pharmacy never gets the prescriptions or they are wrong...back to calling the doctor and waiting. Two are before breakfast, 10 after breakfast, 8 a bedtime with something on her stomach. Keeping up with bowel movements, draining her urine bag (she has a catheter). We use an intercom too so mom will call me and she never presses the button down long enough to speak, which another trip to her room. Then paying bills, and going through the anger she expresses of every medical bill and what her insurance doesn't pay or that she is overcharged, and "I" need to call and find out. Weighing her, watching for weight gain (no more than 2lbs), and logging all vitals everyday. Her sugar is elevated? What did she eat that I gave her... racking my brain of the meals/snacks from the day before. Mother always wants something to eat that I don't have in the house. every.single.time. I've often wondered how she had that skill to name the very food item I don't have or forgot to restock. She takes a call from my sister then asks me to explain this or that which is another 30 minutes. Order the newspaper. Get invoice... cancel the newspaper. then, the physical therapy and the making it presentable and safe for mom. That's when she gets to inspect everything and find everything wrong and how embarrassed she is for someone to see it. and this is just off the top of my head. Anyway, it's a club we are in my friends. It's thankless, stressful, but "I" have the time left with her and when she is no longer with me - I will be comforted to know I did everything in my power to help her....like she did me when I was born.

Thank you, ladies for your support in this endeavor. I have never ever confided in anyone about this very difficult life. My sister and brother acts like it's nothing. seriously, they downplay it and always changes the subject if I hint of whining. Shopping and politics is what I got at the moment. Mostly shopping which I need to curb but it's my one and only vice.

Thanks for listening and to those who don't want to read it - I understand. Really, I understand. Now I'm going to shop a little and read up on ya'll and what I missed!!! I love you all. I really do.

And when the family comes to visit, and mom is sitting in her recliner watching TV, with her clean clothes on, ( not smelling of urine or sh*t ), and her hair is nice and combed has has been colored, and she's just eaten and looks perfectly content...... they wonder why there are dishes in the sink, overload of laundry to be done, house to be picked up..... and your still in you pajamas at 4:30 in the afternoon. I GET IT.

[OtherSideOfTheTracks]

I'm home for the night! Mom's doctors have come and gone and at the moment we are just waiting for the culture and letting her get better with fluids/antibiotics. This sounds crazy, but being at the hospital is like a mini vacation from being home doing it all. I don't know if I should start the chores or go for a nap. I just gave my cats good love and sweet talk. It's a beautiful day here and I feel free with security that mom is being taken care of.

@Angelflutter everything, and I mean everything you wrote about is me! I almost got chills as I read your post as it is exactly, exactly my life. The endless laundry, the countless spills and "accidents" - constantly trying to plan and cook a healthy meal that is so restrictive that I could probably write a book on meals; the sugar readings, oxygen readings; having to "find" everything that is dropped under the bed,lost in her chair, runaway tv remote that mom is sitting on but mom will insist she is NOT sitting on it - ten minutes later - I finally get her up to stand and there it is....tv remote. The losing her glasses, wiping her mouth, ordering supplies (IV, flushes, heparin, alcohol wipes, gloves, kits), depends, meds, omg, her medicines... Her 20 pills a day medicines. Medicines are my fear too, @Angelflutter . "no more refills" is my worst fear. calling her doctors for refills, missing their calls, returning doctors calls, calling the pharmacy to see if they got the new prescription, ordering them, picking them up or before I finally go to sleep, jump up and order prescriptions via the app. Oh, let's include pharmacy never gets the prescriptions or they are wrong...back to calling the doctor and waiting. Two are before breakfast, 10 after breakfast, 8 a bedtime with something on her stomach. Keeping up with bowel movements, draining her urine bag (she has a catheter). We use an intercom too so mom will call me and she never presses the button down long enough to speak, which another trip to her room. Then paying bills, and going through the anger she expresses of every medical bill and what her insurance doesn't pay or that she is overcharged, and "I" need to call and find out. Weighing her, watching for weight gain (no more than 2lbs), and logging all vitals everyday. Her sugar is elevated? What did she eat that I gave her... racking my brain of the meals/snacks from the day before. Mother always wants something to eat that I don't have in the house. every.single.time. I've often wondered how she had that skill to name the very food item I don't have or forgot to restock. She takes a call from my sister then asks me to explain this or that which is another 30 minutes. Order the newspaper. Get invoice... cancel the newspaper. then, the physical therapy and the making it presentable and safe for mom. That's when she gets to inspect everything and find everything wrong and how embarrassed she is for someone to see it. and this is just off the top of my head. Anyway, it's a club we are in my friends. It's thankless, stressful, but "I" have the time left with her and when she is no longer with me - I will be comforted to know I did everything in my power to help her....like she did me when I was born.

Thank you, ladies for your support in this endeavor. I have never ever confided in anyone about this very difficult life. My sister and brother acts like it's nothing. seriously, they downplay it and always changes the subject if I hint of whining. Shopping and politics is what I got at the moment. Mostly shopping which I need to curb but it's my one and only vice.

Thanks for listening and to those who don't want to read it - I understand. Really, I understand. Now I'm going to shop a little and read up on ya'll and what I missed!!! I love you all. I really do.

And when the family comes to visit, and mom is sitting in her recliner watching TV, with her clean clothes on, ( not smelling of urine or sh*t ), and her hair is nice and combed has has been colored, and she's just eaten and looks perfectly content...... they wonder why there are dishes in the sink, overload of laundry to be done, house to be picked up..... and your still in you pajamas at 4:30 in the afternoon. I GET IT.

THIS. So true. My family is so afraid they may be asked to do something. I like going somewhere and leaving it to them to get mom in and out of the car - just to let them "get it" how difficult it is. lol - am I rotten? but dang!

What about wrapping Christmas gifts from "Grandmother and Mom" - oh brother. haha. OH and mom uses a tablet to play crosswords/bible etc. She messes it up daily and I mean goofs it up so bad - I never dreamed how messed up a tablet can get.... so that's always a thrill. hehe

[Angelflutter]

Gotcha beat. Mom can't figure out the remote control to the TV. I will ask her what do she wants to watch. " FAMILY FUED " on the game show network. I go set the TV for her, get her in bed, leave the room. Counting 1....2....3....4, BEEE, I MESSED UP THE TV..... Count on it.....every night. GAH!!! BTW.... I just got done taking my bath I had scheduled for this afternoon. Shaved my legs too. Ohhhh La La. Keepin' in ShopLC.

[SueB]

Gosh idk what happened w/ everyone but My phone is about drained so I’ll get back here soon.... PRAYERS FOR ALL!!!

[Blossom]

Gosh idk what happened w/ everyone but My phone is about drained so I’ll get back here soon.... PRAYERS FOR ALL!!!

Prayers for you too SueB. Hope everything is ok, considering

[Angelflutter]

Um ...yes !!! When I am not dealing with mom and hubs, I have a 15 pound sausage with legs glued to my hip ( when I get to sit down ). Trying to decide if I should have her surgically implanted or surgically removed.

[Angelflutter]

Please start a blog on the other side about the funny / frustrating things about caring for others. We have all become wonderful friends. We are so supportive of each other. When people face these circumstances and need advice ..... people either have to pay big bucks for therapy like this often talking to some 24 year old therapist just out of school, who has no clue what you are going through or facing these things alone with no one to vent to or laugh about the funny stuff with. I'm afraid ShopLC will decide to stop hosting our pity parties otherwise known as our support group. Just make it about caring where we can discuss the good and bad. It would be so much appreciated. Ya'll up for it. Please wait awhile and start it later so we can get Gemsnob and others you want to invite included off of shoplc's space. Don't want to leave any of our friends behind. Just a quick question about over there..... can the ascending / descending be changed so that the older messages are on the bottom and as each new message is added it goes on top. It sure takes up time scrolling down to see the newest messages. Just wondering if that was a possibility. Sometimes it just is what it us. I know you are still in the process. I am not complaining. You are doing a great job, and are trying to figure it out as you go. I am still AMAZED at how fast ya'll got Gem Lovers Unite up and running.