Everything Is Fine

[OtherSideOfTheTracks]

Dear Everyone! I wanted to start a new thread to address everyone's concerns for me here and over yonder. Thank you for caring about how I'm doing and please know that I truly didn't mean for anyone to feel badly especially RS. Yes, my feelings were hurt as I felt that she was ignoring my posts cumulative over time - and today it just got to me. For this, I feel silly and to RS I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong - it's me feeling sorry for myself I guess. I'm overwhelmed with my mom at the moment as she was admitted to the hospital late this afternoon to get rehydrated and for tests. She's been fighting an antibiotic resistant bacteria in her kidneys for months now of which I give her IV antibiotics every 8 hours. I have to take the antibiotics out of the fridge 1/2 hour before the infusion then the infusion lasts 1 hour....every 8 hours. So I've been losing sleep and it's just me to do this. She has been combative about going to the hospital and it was tough today getting her to understand she needed to go but her home nurse and I finally said enough and called the ambulance. Im relieved but feel so guilty...really bad.

To RS, I'm sorry to cause you distress as I didn't think my post would make any noise - I really didn't think it have any strength as I didn't think it through. Your kindness to me after the post and from everyone has made me cry.. Thank you all for caring about me and I do feel very very fortunate to find such fine people here. I'm really attached to you all.

I'm very drained right now so I need to sign off and go to bed to be up early. I wish I could hug all of you! Please hang in with me! PS. I truly am going to bed and if any comments - I will get to them sometime tomorrow. xoxo

[Angelflutter]

OSOTT. We all understand. I am right there with you on being exhausted. We are just trying to hold it together minute by minute, day by day. I have caught myself being upset over things that I would have let slide down my back days ago. And, I find myself to be more sensative than I normally am. I literally need to just go outside and sit on the porch and be by myself for a few minutes before I totally lose it and say or do something that would cause hurt feelings and lead to regret. People in our family are sick. Sometimes they don't understand our choices in what we are doing for them.... because they are too sick to think clearly. I am constantly telling hubs the exact things he was told at the hospital. He gives me trouble like I know he would never give to his nurse. It's easy to get frustrated when it seems they can't do the simplest things for themselves and then appear to turn on you when you are trying to help them. I hate to say this.... but sometimes it's a fine line between loving and strongly disliking. Bill gets angry at me for doing so much for my mother, but doesn't stop to think that I am doing exactly as much for him. My days are spent jumping up and down and doing for them. Honestly, I haven't sat down for more than 30 minutes straight since hubs came back home from the hospital. Between doing all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, doing mom's physical therapy and giving her baths, and cleaning her up after bladder / bowel accidents... i am beat. Bill doesnt get physical therapy - but i have to keep after him to take his meds, do his nebulizer treatments and use his oxygen. Hopefully I won't say anything I regret. I just want you to realize were exhausted, overly sensative, and for lack of a better word......lost. without having help, it's tough. We won't be like this forever. Just be how you are now. Caring and supportive. We need it.

[Gypsy]

Please dont ever be sorry that things are overwhelming. The stress is so understandable and the exhaustion expected so emotions will run high.
You are going thru such a difficult time ,trying to do your best and at times are probably feeling that you are under appreciated and doing everything wrong.
Believe me I know. You hate that loved ones are ill and feel helpless at times. ITS OKAY
You really aren't alone- this is still our forum- our community of friends. A safe place to vent or cry
Even though none of us "have met" in person
WE ARE HERE FOR EACH OTHER Gypsy

[Gem Lover]

OtherSideOfTheTracks there is no need to feel bad, I am sure most of us have felt overwhelmed at times and when we are feeling that way and tired things tend to effect us even more, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with so much right now. I hope your moms infection clears up soon for her sake and yours. Never feel bad for doing what you have to do and just know we all understand.

[Blossom]

OSOTT. We all understand. I am right there with you on being exhausted. We are just trying to hold it together minute by minute, day by day. I have caught myself being upset over things that I would have let slide down my back days ago. And, I find myself to be more sensative than I normally am. I literally need to just go outside and sit on the porch and be by myself for a few minutes before I totally lose it and say or do something that would cause hurt feelings and lead to regret. People in our family are sick. Sometimes they don't understand our choices in what we are doing for them.... because they are too sick to think clearly. I am constantly telling hubs the exact things he was told at the hospital. He gives me trouble like I know he would never give to his nurse. It's easy to get frustrated when it seems they can't do the simplest things for themselves and then appear to turn on you when you are trying to help them. I hate to say this.... but sometimes it's a fine line between loving and strongly disliking. Bill gets angry at me for doing so much for my mother, but doesn't stop to think that I am doing exactly as much for him. My days are spent jumping up and down and doing for them. Honestly, I haven't sat down for more than 30 minutes straight since hubs came back home from the hospital. Between doing all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, doing mom's physical therapy and giving her baths, and cleaning her up after bladder / bowel accidents... i am beat. Bill doesnt get physical therapy - but i have to keep after him to take his meds, do his nebulizer treatments and use his oxygen. Hopefully I won't say anything I regret. I just want you to realize were exhausted, overly sensative, and for lack of a better word......lost. without having help, it's tough. We won't be like this forever. Just be how you are now. Caring and supportive. We need it.

Angelflutter, I pray everything with your husband & mother will get better.

[Blossom]

Dear Everyone! I wanted to start a new thread to address everyone's concerns for me here and over yonder. Thank you for caring about how I'm doing and please know that I truly didn't mean for anyone to feel badly especially RS. Yes, my feelings were hurt as I felt that she was ignoring my posts cumulative over time - and today it just got to me. For this, I feel silly and to RS I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong - it's me feeling sorry for myself I guess. I'm overwhelmed with my mom at the moment as she was admitted to the hospital late this afternoon to get rehydrated and for tests. She's been fighting an antibiotic resistant bacteria in her kidneys for months now of which I give her IV antibiotics every 8 hours. I have to take the antibiotics out of the fridge 1/2 hour before the infusion then the infusion lasts 1 hour....every 8 hours. So I've been losing sleep and it's just me to do this. She has been combative about going to the hospital and it was tough today getting her to understand she needed to go but her home nurse and I finally said enough and called the ambulance. Im relieved but feel so guilty...really bad.

To RS, I'm sorry to cause you distress as I didn't think my post would make any noise - I really didn't think it have any strength as I didn't think it through. Your kindness to me after the post and from everyone has made me cry.. Thank you all for caring about me and I do feel very very fortunate to find such fine people here. I'm really attached to you all.

I'm very drained right now so I need to sign off and go to bed to be up early. I wish I could hug all of you! Please hang in with me! PS. I truly am going to bed and if any comments - I will get to them sometime tomorrow. xoxo

OtherSideOfTheTracks, prayers for you & your mother. Hope she's doing better.

[RS]

Dear Everyone! I wanted to start a new thread to address everyone's concerns for me here and over yonder. Thank you for caring about how I'm doing and please know that I truly didn't mean for anyone to feel badly especially RS. Yes, my feelings were hurt as I felt that she was ignoring my posts cumulative over time - and today it just got to me. For this, I feel silly and to RS I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong - it's me feeling sorry for myself I guess. I'm overwhelmed with my mom at the moment as she was admitted to the hospital late this afternoon to get rehydrated and for tests. She's been fighting an antibiotic resistant bacteria in her kidneys for months now of which I give her IV antibiotics every 8 hours. I have to take the antibiotics out of the fridge 1/2 hour before the infusion then the infusion lasts 1 hour....every 8 hours. So I've been losing sleep and it's just me to do this. She has been combative about going to the hospital and it was tough today getting her to understand she needed to go but her home nurse and I finally said enough and called the ambulance. Im relieved but feel so guilty...really bad.

To RS, I'm sorry to cause you distress as I didn't think my post would make any noise - I really didn't think it have any strength as I didn't think it through. Your kindness to me after the post and from everyone has made me cry.. Thank you all for caring about me and I do feel very very fortunate to find such fine people here. I'm really attached to you all.

I'm very drained right now so I need to sign off and go to bed to be up early. I wish I could hug all of you! Please hang in with me! PS. I truly am going to bed and if any comments - I will get to them sometime tomorrow. xoxo

I feel so badly for all you are going through with you mother. And for me to not have seen or read and responded to your posts about it is completely and utterly my fault.
I have been looking through things and so far have not seen the posts but I know they HAVE to be there. But no excuses. My actions (or lack thereof) made you feel sad and left out.
I am more sorry than you know.
Your friendship means so much, as does the friendship of all the forum members.
I ALWAYS actively look for your posts. I TRY to respond to so many but apparently I have been overlooking many.
Once again I am very sorry OSOTT.
I hope you can manage to have some peace this weekend.
All my best to your mother. She is so lucky to have you. And for you to still have your mother... you too are blessed.

[Ginger]

OSOTT, Cat, AngelFlutter-I am hoping things are going to get better for your family. Just take things one day at a time, always know you have friends here that do understand what you’re going through. So please feel free to vent your frustrations or just your thoughts, I will always listen to you all. I think all of you on the forum are wonderful friends & we’ve formed strong bonds, regardless if we’ve never met-yet. I send everyone a little cyber hug and my prayers for a happy weekend with your families. Bless You All

[Angelflutter]

Had prayer circle this afternoon. From our mouths to God's ears......

[Ginger]

There was a Church potluck at 6 tonight at mine but I couldn’t go with these issues. But I talked to the pastor’s wife & they had several prayer chains for you, Cat, Jewelry Queen, OSOTT and Blossom. I hope you all are taking a few minutes for yourselves tonight & getting a little more rest. Hopefully tomorrow I can get to morning service & be in the prayer circle for everyone. You are never alone