Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

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Vicky
Posts: 1594
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 1

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Vicky » 4 years ago

Reading all the pain and worry everyone is going thru now with their parents brings back memories of my mom and Dad when they were alive. I Performed medical procedures at home I should have taken my Dad to the ER to have done. I didn’t want to put him thru being treated by strangers in a strange place. Another time when he was in a Hospital ICU that I didnt work at, and they were torturing him to try and get a blood gas, I just lost it. I took the catheter with their permission and did it for them. I knew it was wrong. First I wasn’t an employee, but most important, I was bought up that you are not allowed to hurt your parents no matter what, including medical procedures that might cause them pain. I remember whispering to God to forgive me, I am too weak to see him being tortured. When I told my siblings what happened, they were not supportive. They said I should have just walked out the room, not stuck him myself. I felt sooo guilty. Looking back, I did it out of Love. They were hurting my Dad.
I know if not for this, I would have found other things to feel guilty about. I hear in your words the hurting you are going thru, no matter how much you do for your parents.
In fact —They are sooo lucky that you are there for them.
I saw some patients in the ER too frequently. They would be admitted for a few days, then discharged. A few days later they were back, needing re-admission. I suspected one woman wasn't taking her discharge meds. She admitted that she doesnt take her meds because, the only time her kids come to visit, is when she is in the hospital. I suspected that to be the case with others too.
Thats why you should be commended for doing so much for your parents.
Hope they all feel better and you get a break to do things for YOU 🙏🏻
7 x

Catticus
Posts: 1481
Joined: 4 years ago

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Catticus » 4 years ago

Thank you @JewelryQueen

🌺

I'm not doing well, and have not been for some time now. Ever since moving here, I've gotten worse. I love my parents very much but my father is overly critical and my mother has always put each of us down. To our face, and behind our backs. Her sisters were the same way.

Neither my father or mother know they are doing it. They do not see it, and never will. I have been their "target" since I moved here.

I have been beaten up mentally and verbally more than I ever have in my life, since moving here to stay with them. Yes, they are in pain and I know that makes them worse. But I don't want to be here. I never did.

I am trapped and it doesn't take Freud to figure out my dreams. I am always alone, or around people I don't know. I am constantly trying to find the Exit in a hospital, medical building, college, mall, theme park, and some extremely odd places. Like a freeway that turns and twists and is all broken up. Everyone has to walk up and down sections, climb through railings, and it never ends.

Places inside, I am opening doors to find yet another set of swinging doors. Pushing through, I find myself in a room with nobody in it, or it's a surgical room, or a room belonging to very ill people. I smile, they think I'm staff, I leave, going down hallways and find a door and am told that the door is permanently closed and is not an exit. I turn around and look for another exit. I go through doors after doors after doors. Each leading nowhere. Or it's parking lots and I cannot find my car. Trapped.

Growing up, we were never praised, never. Only criticized. Yet my twin and I were always "teacher's pet" in every class we've been in growing up. We had different teachers and were not in the same classes in elementary school. In junior high we had a couple of classes together, also in H.S. Our teachers and our employers always loved us.

At home it was another story. We never understood what it was we were doing that was "so bad." None of us drank, none of us did drugs, none of us stayed out all night, none of us "slept around", none of us got pregnant. Pretty much everyone else was in that era, but we weren't and our parents knew it. We came home after school and stayed home, or were at church, or our friends' houses - with their parents there. We didn't "sass", we did our chores.

I am NOT putting down anyone who did any of the above. It is just something we have discussed with each other as siblings, trying to figure it all out.

It's never changed and it of course, never will. It's a long, long story. I know why my parents are this way. My mother had a horrible, wretched childhood. My father had a great one.

But neither understand what "examining themselves" means. They truly do not see it. My sis is incapable of emotional support just like our father and mother. And honestly does not see that.

Enough of that. The damage has long been done.

I just opened my lamps that came.

Elephant and Tiger were intact, as far as I can tell. They don't come with the bulb.

Hummingbird and Peacock I knew would be broken because the box it was in rattled when I took it out of SLCs box.

It was even worse this time. The top piece of glass is completely shattered. Shards are inside the lamp. There is a "sunburst" cracking in the glass that still remains on the top, that is ready to fall into the lamp. The glass is so thin, the wood "raw" and splintery. Again, I dare not take it out of the box for fear of glass shards scattering all over the floor.

I give up. And I don't want another from them. These lamps are dangerous. The glass is too thin. I doubt they'll even stand the heat of a bulb. If one fell, or got bumped up against, the glass would be in such tiny pieces, there is no way a person would be able to clean them all up.

That's much too dangerous, especially for a nightlight.

I'm never shopping here again.

Thank you, JQ. I love you. 🌺💞🦋💞🌺
7 x

Catticus
Posts: 1481
Joined: 4 years ago

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Catticus » 4 years ago

@Vicky

I completely understand. But it hurts.

My mother's fistula started with an ecoli infection in her bladder. Even her doctor agrees she got that infection from a catheter.

We didn't think she'd survive that surgery a few years ago. She did.

What you did I would have applauded you for. And I do, now.

No wonder we all love jewelry. It's one of the few beautiful things left in this broken world.

💞🦋💞
5 x

Catticus
Posts: 1481
Joined: 4 years ago

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Catticus » 4 years ago

My mind is spinning and I'm crying so forgive me because I cannot see the screen.

To all of you. I love you, even though I don't really even know you. But I don't care about that.

Thank you so much. I need your prayers BADLY. And I mean BADLY.

"S" runs in my mother's side of the family. The only reason I haven't and won't is because of my twin.

Please pray. I'm in a "prison." I have been for so long. I don't know how to live anymore. I've been trapped here too long. I do what I can do, then beat it to my room to escape the insults.
6 x

Vicky
Posts: 1594
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 1

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Vicky » 4 years ago

Oh God Catticus,
My heart is crying for you, for everything you needed and still needs to endure. I never felt the agony that you felt and endured or are still feeling now. I was the BLACK SHEEP, in the family, because I went to college. My siblings friends looked down on me because a female having a Male professor was taboo in my circle. But I know my siblings still loved me. I know my parents were ashamed of my decision, but I only felt love from my parents.
For some reason, even though I didnt live the agony you have and still are, I feel I understand every painful thing you describe.
I ask GOD To reward you for your sacrifices and suffering and HELP you !! HE CAN 🙏🏻 ❤️🥰
5 x

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Gypsy
Posts: 4045
Joined: 4 years ago

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Gypsy » 4 years ago

Angelflutter wrote:
4 years ago
G'day everyone. Thank you for making the list. I was getting to the point where I thought I was going to have to put up a bulletin board like you see on the police shows....... where you have people's names / pictures and a whole bunch of strings going from 1 person to anothèr. Glad all are doing well today. OSOTT.... so glad your mother had a good day today. Let's hope that today is a breakthrough for better days ahead. I have been busy the last couple of days.... shopping, laundry, did up 3 casseroles to freeze, bathing mom and catching up on a little house cleaning. Never a dull moment around here. I have been reading posts off and on. Probably not going to post on too many. But I will still be saying my prayers for all. From reading the posts, it seems like there are a lot of new names out there. Welcome in everyone. Didn't watch ShopLC....... hate the all day smackdowns. I would imagine the hosts get pretty tired of doing them too. I can't imagine doing a 2 or 3 hour stint talking about the same gemstone over and over. And they have the impossible responsibility to keep it fresh and exciting. Not enough $$$ in the world to pay me to do their job. Once upon a time, I thought their job was easy. NOT !!! I would be bored out of my ever loving skull. Anyway.... just checking in before BOLO goes out for me. Peace out.... Angelflutter
@Angelflutter
Was glad to hear from you. Please take care of not only your mom but yourself as well. Continued prayers -Gypsy 💜
4 x

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Gypsy
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Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Gypsy » 4 years ago

Ginger wrote:
4 years ago
@Angelflutter and everyone, I hope your family is doing better today. I send you all loving thoughts & prayers, please know I am thinking of each of you, even though I am not on much still. There’s still much drama going on even after Mom’s funeral. So my anxiety & depression is at a all time high right now. But I wanted to let everyone know I am thinking of you all and your precious loved ones. Hugs for everyone 💛♥️
@Ginger

Sometimes family can be such a pain 🥺 I hate that you are having to go thru this. Please know that I am sending prayers and hugs to you. Please take care -Gypsy 💜
4 x

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Gypsy
Posts: 4045
Joined: 4 years ago

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Gypsy » 4 years ago

Gem Lover wrote:
4 years ago
I have not been on much the last couple of days but I have been thinking about all of you and keeping you in my prayers.
@GemLover
Hope you are taking care ❣ Miss reading your posts and chatting with you - Gypsy
3 x

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Gypsy
Posts: 4045
Joined: 4 years ago

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Gypsy » 4 years ago

Vicky wrote:
4 years ago
Reading all the pain and worry everyone is going thru now with their parents brings back memories of my mom and Dad when they were alive. I Performed medical procedures at home I should have taken my Dad to the ER to have done. I didn’t want to put him thru being treated by strangers in a strange place. Another time when he was in a Hospital ICU that I didnt work at, and they were torturing him to try and get a blood gas, I just lost it. I took the catheter with their permission and did it for them. I knew it was wrong. First I wasn’t an employee, but most important, I was bought up that you are not allowed to hurt your parents no matter what, including medical procedures that might cause them pain. I remember whispering to God to forgive me, I am too weak to see him being tortured. When I told my siblings what happened, they were not supportive. They said I should have just walked out the room, not stuck him myself. I felt sooo guilty. Looking back, I did it out of Love. They were hurting my Dad.
I know if not for this, I would have found other things to feel guilty about. I hear in your words the hurting you are going thru, no matter how much you do for your parents.
In fact —They are sooo lucky that you are there for them.
I saw some patients in the ER too frequently. They would be admitted for a few days, then discharged. A few days later they were back, needing re-admission. I suspected one woman wasn't taking her discharge meds. She admitted that she doesnt take her meds because, the only time her kids come to visit, is when she is in the hospital. I suspected that to be the case with others too.
Thats why you should be commended for doing so much for your parents.
Hope they all feel better and you get a break to do things for YOU 🙏🏻
@Vicky
To me everything you did ,you did for the love of your dad. And I am truly sorry that your siblings didnt offer or give you the support you needed or deserved. You are a good caring person. (((Warm Hugs))) -Gypsy
4 x

Vicky
Posts: 1594
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 1

Re: Mom & Anything Else You Want To Talk About

Post by Vicky » 4 years ago

Im sorry Gypsy,
Im so overwhelmed with all I read by Catticus, I left out you and others in my post . But, I didnt leave you out in my prayers 🙏🏻 In my life I believe I survived standing at deaths door, because the FIRE inside me burned hotter then the fires around me. As a saying I read said: I survived because I fell 7 times, but got up 8.
I am so sorry that so many of my forum friend are suffering. I just hope you feel the love that is sent to you today😍
6 x

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